Ignorance is bliss.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

It's been awhile and I guess that's the current routine of my blog updates. Life's been slow paced recently I guess and in the past 2 weeks, I've watched my few close friends stepping forward to serve the nation, namely Ron, Kelvin Tan and Jin Jian.

I miss you guys and I sincerely and whole-heartedly hope that all is well with you guys.

Guess now with them in camp, outings will be limited and its about time I step out to look for a job. Its been pretty much a nag to hang around at home, even in the evenings when I'm supposedly relaxing, I'll have the mouth pushing me towards depression. Comparing me to cousins and pushing myself as the disappointment in the family. My only pride is what they label as useless in future progression, life progression.

Enough bout that, let's talk a little about today.

Schedule has me tied to two matches, one: a 3 on 3 which grants me a chance to winning money which I so deeply need now (Oh yea, my wallet got stolen. My favorite wallet got stolen together with my unreported I.C. a credit card my favorite photo with my girlfriend and some other random cards and cash.)

ANYWAY: Yup, we won the 3 on 3 in a nervy face-off in the finals and progress towards our NBL Qualifying Round match against Yuen Tat (Yuhua CSC).

Truthfully, I was feeling good about the game before it started. I felt my shots were good, I felt my legs were fine and I felt the fire and passion to win ignited and burning from within.

Throughout the game, we led but it was close and I was deployed as a forward after subbing in as a centre in the second quarter on. Dirty pushes and fiery face-offs were met and I managed to help out on the boards and squeezed in a few points but never did any good with the 3s that I was initially pretty confident about. Finally my knees gave way in a joust with an opponent for an offensive board in the early parts of the fourth.

From then on, I was a spectator but every part of me wanted to be in there to contribute. I kept shouting and cheering for the team, hoping we could squeeze out something. Finally the coach came to me and asked and this was when it hurt me the most. I hesitated to his question about playing. I kept standing to check and tried to push myself but my knees just wouldn't allow. I turned him down to avoid becoming a burden.

Really, I wanted so much to go in. I knew I could contribute, I knew I could have done something to help. I really wanted to try but I just... couldn't..

We lost the game by a 4 point margin but I guess many already gave up in the final 7 seconds when captain Han missed the 3.

There weren't much errors for a team as a whole but the liability and question that lingers would be just one word. Trust. Who do you trust the most and what do you rally towards trusting ?

This defeat has left me feeling sour but there's no place for regrets. For me, the thing would be about how much of me is into finally achieving the goal. Achieving gold in inter-con.

I believe... but how about the other 11 ?

I have my hands and legs into this, there's no backing and I'll lead by example. I'm gonna give my all, whatever it takes.

♥ 10:56 PM

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Back from a fun-filled day at Sentosa with the group. Will be waiting for the photos from Felicia but I guess there ain't much of me since I arrived there pretty late.

If any of you're reading this, I'm sorry bout it. Hopefully the food I brought made up for my disappearance. Anyhow, loads of things happened and sadly, that included some mishaps, mishaps like some cuts on Jin Jian's feet while playing monkey in the waters. Sentosa's waters isn't safe anymore so guys, beware if you're gonna be entering the waters of Siloso. Hahahas

Thank goodness though, nothing serious came from the injury, it wasn't a poisonous sting nor some rusty nail that caused a wound with required stitching and OH ! I heard, jelly-fishes are rather common to sight in the waters during the November - January time frame so yet again, READERS, if any, do be-careful =)

THE SECOND MISHAP came right about when we were calling an end to the day, while playing touch rugby or rather mixed style rugby. In a way, it kinda helped in ending the day off but it definitely wasn't anything nice. Kelvin Tan and I clashed into one another while tussling for the possession of a ball. This resulted in a loosen bracket for my braces and a big cut on kelvin's upper eye lid. CONCLUSION ? Rugby is a dangerous sport. Hahahas. Okie, so gay and weird for me to be talking like this. Sounds like I'm some chirpy ding dong bird or something but anyway, yeah, injuries and stuff but the day of fun was in my opinion, well worth it. As for the injured ones, the result is another story. Haas.

It's been awhile since such hang-outs have happened and I'm really enjoying it. The heart-to-heart talks, the rather awkward but interesting gossips and the plannings for future outings. Helps me take a breather too, enjoying the breeze, the sand and the, disgusting water conditions of the Sentosa seas. Hahahas.

Having completed balling, dodge-ball, monkey, random hut throwing games, volleyball, texas holdem and the undeniably fun and painful mixed-style rugby, I guess I really enjoyed my day although some stuffs happened. Stuffs that sometimes make me wonder, how much fault is it of mine ? I've never written bout anything that happens to try to keep things simple but I think I really need to pen in down in virtual means. Am I just impossible to be unhappy or is it just a tolerance level that hasn't had a limit set or probably just me not accepting my faults.

Life, undeniably unpredictable.

See those clouds that hang up high
Drift apart and have my sigh
Bewildered thoughts that lingers by
Please be gone, this ain't self high
Let me know what I've done wrong
Let me know if the life-line's on
Let me know if you can't be wrong
Pick on me on my faults for long
Is this life all crude and strong
Or is it me, runaway where I belong

♥ 11:57 PM

Thursday, August 27, 2009

As I've promised, I'm here to blog. Probably about MANY days late since I agreed to an immediate entry but annnnnyyywaaayyyy..... I'm here and that's what's important ! Haas

So yea ! 25th August, 9am, my last paper in my entire poly life. Certainly. the pressure was on to make it a real final attempt. There's really no need for a re-test and I know it ! I was crazily scribbling all sorta of information I remembered and those that slipped my mind into the abyss, I gave my gift of gab a gripping twist and sent out every possible argument to reason out my point.

A sigh of relief was let out as I scribbled my last words in line with a deep, assuring voice that said, " TIMES UP, PUT YOURS PENS DOWN, DO REMEMBER TO WRITE DOWN THE QUESTION NUMBERS ATTEMPTED AND FILL IN YOUR NAME AND OTHER INFORMATION."

Still vivid at this point in time but nevertheless, nothing felt better than finally getting it over with but I guess life from this point has another meaning and I have to step it up to get it right this time round.

The past 3 years were probably a waste and I guess I ought to feel guilty with how I wasted it away so the next few months would be integral towards trying to get it right before I waste another 2 more years trying to serve this nation. Yea yea, surely its been said before and its getting tiring to be at this same position even when I probably started mentioning bout getting down to do something for my life 2 years back. Tiring for people who read, even more tiring for me.
Its like the prophecy coming through, the sayings of my dad. Its depressing but I guess there's no one else to blame but my lazy self.

Anyhow, I promised pictures so here are the big number of them from LONG AGO.

Thanks once again. Everyone of you made this so much more memorable and no matter what, I'll remember you all for life. Thank you. Thank You my dear my making this possible too =)

♥ 1:51 AM

Monday, August 3, 2009

40 mins of play for the first time again and Ngee Ann's first win.

Lots of negatives within the game but I'm not in position to say.

Nevertheless, gladness is within and I gave my all, even though the guy doesn't think its enough but I know I didn't let down the friends that sat the bench.

Although I could help gather a win, sadness fills to see others giving up.

2 more games, FRIENDS, send me a goodbye gift =)

♥ 11:58 PM

Saturday, June 20, 2009

What does the captain do ?

He does the bad

Becomes the villian
Just the puppet of the leaders too

♥ 3:29 PM

2009

I was appointed as captain for my constituency.

Okie, yet again I guess you guys will be seeking towards a photo gallery of my birthday and surprise party made
It's still with my sister and she hasn't passed the data to me due to a problem with the hard-disk. I ask for forgiveness and once again assure you that it was in no part a showing that no gratitude came in the surprise made.

So here's back to the post

It's been 4 years since I've been given such a position and throughout the time, I've learned a lot from the leaders that have been in-charged of the teams I've been in.... actions learned and actions seen but the question lies on whether I'll be able to put to actions all that I've been in ?

I know though, it's most probably sort of an acting role but I'll try my utmost best to give a good experience to everyone.... Just give me the chance...

Today - 19th June 2009

Guilt embroiled over me. All my life till recently have I had thoughts of building a really strong team through really good players that were in contacts with me but today I saw light into this wanting and it was the disappointments and announcements of players who wouldn't make the constituency's squad list.
There were players who have played with me for the past 3 years and together completed 3 successful runs towards a top 8 finish. Surely it was disappointing to not have made it past that stage but these were the people who have put sweat and blood towards all of that.
Today I realized that, the real deal of rejoicing comes when the effort and togetherness of the squad, growing and coming together to make the runs but it came too late and for all that couldn't make the team, I'm truly and sincerely apologetic.

BUT the saying goes that what's done is done and nothing can be done to turn back the actions that have already been executed so I hope that it would be of a consolation that I do my best to return with silverware this year. As many as possible, as much effort as I can put in.

As for captaincy, I've realized how tough it was to try to lead a team such as that and I see the attitude in me that's needed to be changed and all the things that are happening within it. I'll do something about it and try to beat down the fear of talking to the senior players.

Me as a player on my part, I guess I've grown matured but haven't really been acting it out so once again I apologize for whatever negative things I've done.

Be in towards any teams that I'm in now. I'm gonna make changes happen, I know I will.

Ngee Ann Poly has had some cock-ups and I understand the situation but as much as I would like to get it straighten out, I think I'm not in the position anymore.

Life though as a whole has been joyful yet not entirely fruitful. I guess I lack in some parts of my life and I'm just allowing it to move on in the way it is. Rotting further towards a hole that I, together with a group of "understanding" peers have helped to dug.

I guess its positions like this that you realize that, well. Sincerely, you're not sorely missed.

Dearie who's in camp now, I hope your speech and day went well. Busy and all with meetings and stuff. Hope you're in good care and everything continues to go smooth.

Tonight the light shines away
In darkness and awry this soul will stay
One life in shame and constant disray
Yet what's done wrong is conundrum at bay
One key filled the emptiness within
Yet took away the other parts of him
So here he is
Away at bay
Awaiting for the key towards curing the lonlieness thats seemed
Tonight though, the wait shall stall
Till another day comes to fall

♥ 2:02 AM

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

baa baa black sheep have you any wool :D

♥ 3:08 AM

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